Episode 16 – Broadway Magic

 

jemandtheholograms_broadwaymagic_2Ah this episode takes me back! This was one of the episodes I had on VHS as a kid. I pretty much know the storyline backwards I watched it so many times, but I still wanted to watch it again (though it was not as good as the other episode I had, Britrock).

Bob Merrit is a Broadway producer whose career is at death’s door. He needs a Broadway hit if he is to survive. His eureka moment? The revelation that a Broadway hit needs music – good music! Mind. Blown. So all he needs now is a popular rock music group who can write, sing and perform and apparently have nothing to do.

jemandtheholograms_broadwaymagic_7Both The Misfits and Jem and The Holograms find out about this at the same time, and both decide they should be in it. The Misfits also get back to the topic of who Jem is, where she came from, why no one knows her real name. Eric Raymond comes up with an idea to sabotage Jem – offer $100,000 to whoever can find out her real identity.

This creates a press furore and the paparazzi stalk Jem and The Holograms everywhere, plus all kinds of crazies get all up in Jem’s business, trying to get her to reveal her real name.

Both Jem and The Holograms and The Misfits get to tryout for Bob. For some reason, we see Jem and The Holograms and Rio arriving in New York via helicopter, but no Jerrica. Then Jerrica and Rio, and The Holograms rush to the theatre, complaining about being held up in the airport (I’m such a nitpicky biatch, I know). Eric points out to Jerrica that their lead singer is missing so Jerrica goes to ‘find’ her. And no one, including Rio finds it remotely odd that Jem arrived separately and is just be lurking around the theatre somewhere.

jemandtheholograms_broadwaymagic_3Roxy tries to mess with the sound booth so that Merrit won’t be able to hear Jem singing, but she screws it up, and sets alarms blaring. She almost manages to catch Jerrica changing into Jem, but turns away at the last second. And then she blames the whole sound screw up on Jem.

After the auditions, Bob Merrit plans to announce the winner live on Lin-Z Pierce’s show. JATH are the winners, surprising exactly no-one. Pizzazz can’t take the humiliation of losing and having the Holograms celebrate in front of her on live national TV, so she simply walks over to the fire hose in the TV studio and starts hosing everyone. Pizzazz kind of reminds me of Grace Jones. I could see her trying that if she got irritated enough.

jemandtheholograms_broadwaymagic_4After getting soaked, Bob has a change of heart – sort of. The Misfits can be the understudies, so if anything were to happen to the real stars, they would go on instead. The Misfits seem ok about this, but to me that’s even worse. I mean would anyone have bought tickets to go see Bradley Cooper’s understudy in The Elephant Man? No you go and see the famous stars.

Jerrica and the Holograms ask Synergy for advice, who tells them that they need to keep her a secret because if her technology fell into the wrong hands it could be disastrous. Jerrica catches Rio in her room and assumes he’s spying on her, trying to find out about Jem. She angrily tells him to get out and then goes missing when she’s supposed to be at a rehearsal at the theatre. Real professional Jem.

jemandtheholograms_broadwaymagic_9Rio and the Holograms go to look for her in Central Park. It’s taken a long time but finally Rio knows something is up. He finds Jerrica in the park and comes right out and asks her if she and Jem are the same person. Synergy creates a hologram of Jem, who is then chased out of the park by crazies trying to find out her name. Rio apologises to Jerrica, saying he was wrong. I almost feel sorry for him… but then I remember he is a hypocrite who hates liars but knows he’s cheating.

The next bit makes no sense whatsoever. The Misfits brainstorm over how they can ensure that the Holograms don’t show up for the performance. Pizzazz gets Stormer to type a letter from Rio to Jem, asking Jem to meet him in the crown of the Statue of Liberty. Jem goes to meet Rio, and Pizzazz locks her in the crown room and takes the last boat back to Manhattan.jemandtheholograms_broadwaymagic_10

Jem is now trapped in the Statue of Liberty’s crown. Her only hope is two construction workers still on the island. She throws down one of her earrings and tells Synergy she needs them to help her, so Synergy creates a hologram of jem asking the workers to help her and leads them into the statue. They recognise her, and one of them realises he can force her to tell them her name in exchange for their help.

jemandtheholograms_broadwaymagic_11When Jem hears this, she has an idea, and tells them if they take her to the mainland she’ll show them her other face. When they get to the boat (oh also, she doesn’t bother picking her earring up I noticed), the nasty construction worker pushes the other guy out of the boat, not wanting to share the reward money. He then takes Jem back to the mainland, where she shows him her other face… she gets Synergy to make her look and sound like him. He’s so shocked he backs away from her (himself) and falls into the water, where she throws him a swim ring and races to Broadway.

jemandtheholograms_broadwaymagic_13So as if that wasn’t ridiculous enough, we’ve got more: ‘Deep breath’… she manages to get a cab immediately – in New York, for god’s sake – and it just so happens to be the same cabbie that picked her up from the airport before. They get stuck because there’s some kind of Chinese New Year street parade going on, so Jem gets out and borrows some kid’s skateboard, promising him tickets to her new show. She then skateboards downs the steps into the subway, throwing her token at a subway worker, and then leaping from skateboard, over the subway barrier, and lands again on the skateboard, skating into the subway train. She’s chased out by crazies/fans, runs into a building having a hang glider convention on the top floor, steals someone’s hang glider (admitting to him that she has no idea how to fly a hang glider) and finds her way to the theatre, landing on the roof. Synergy changes her costume for her and is ready to go on stage. Oh and all while wearing hot pink high heels.

jemandtheholograms_broadwaymagic_12I seriously love it when Jem is so balls to the wall out there like this, this is how it should be every week!

Songs

  • Who Is She, Anyway? – The Misfits
  • Can’t Get My Love Together – Jem and The Holograms
  • Broadway Magic – Jem and The Holograms

Episode 3 – Kimber’s Rebellion

 

The misfits jem and the holograms episode 3

The Misfits making a getaway: “Adios, bitches!”

So in the cliffhanger from episode 2, an oil tanker is about to hit the yacht that Jem and the Holograms are aboard. Of course, they’re fine! Jem almost falls off and Rio has to drag her back aboard, at which point she tries to kiss him. Why is she messing with his head like this? I don’t get it.

Hanging out with fancy rich people gives the group access to all the resources they need to make a music video to beat the Misfits in the contest, and they get sent to Paris. Eric Raymond also sends his goon ‘Zipper’ to sabotage the video any way he can.

rio and kimber jem and the holograms episode 3In Paris, Kimber starts getting jealous about all the attention Jem receives and walks off in a strop. We see Zipper about to jump Kimber and… I don’t know, kidnap her? We’ll never know because Rio chases after her and really sticks it to her and tells her to stop acting like a spoilt brat. She’s about to reveal Jem’s secret when Aja and Shana stop her. Honestly, I’m totally on her side when she says “Rio has a right to know”.

Zipper instead goes to up to a building and crowbars a gargoyle off the roof to fall onto the group. Everyone knows there are stone gargoyle statues on every Parisian rooftop that are just waiting to be pushed off! Rio saves Jem, and yet again she’s freaking all over him!

Meanwhile, Ashley, the kid from Starlight Mansion who tried to steal from the house decides she’s had enough and goes to see the Misfits instead. There’s a bouncer on the door of the club who really dates this series by saying “Huh, you’re a friend of the Misfits? Yeah and I’m Duran Duran!”. The Misfits decide to take her in and school Ashley in the art of being a badass, which apparently consists of never asking, only taking.

Falling in love with another woman is obviously taking its toll on Rio because at the airport when Jem has to rush off (to change back into Jerrica), he gets all depressed and takes off. Jerrica is really surprised. She’s not really the sharpest tool in the shed, is she? But I guess Rio matches her in the brains department there.

kimber and eric jem and the holograms episode 3

“I have VERY serious personal space issues, Eric”

The Misfits have been busy promoting themselves while the Holograms have been away and Kimber confronts Eric Raymond about them and their manipulative tactics. He’s super sleazy and creepy, caressing her face and telling her that she’s the real star, not Jem and offers her a solo contract.

When Kimber finds out that only Jem will be interviewed on a music show, she loses her shit and surprise, surprise… storms off! Jerrica manages to get the whole band on the show, but needs Kimber to be there in one hour. This was before mobile phones so she has to go to the studios of Kimber’s favourite station to send her a message.

I just love it when US shows have awful British accents and they obviously took the inspiration of Dick Van Dyke from Mary Poppins for the radio DJ.

the Lin-Z Show jem and the hologramsKimber comes back, and they all go to the Lin-Z Pierce show together. With Ashley’s help, the Misfits crash the show and are so obnoxious they get kicked out. And Pizzazz actually SLAPS Lin-Z across the face whilst saying “Your show doesn’t have enough class for us anyway”. Watching this as a 7 year old I didn’t realize just how much of a psycho-bitch Pizzazz really was.

Oh and Pizzazz also manages to shove Rio so hard that he falls into some electrical equipment that is clearly faulty and suddenly the whole studio is on fire, and Jem needs to be saved again. Hmmm, I wonder if she’ll try kissing Rio again once it’s all over…

Read the next episode summary Frame Up.

Episode 2 – Disaster

Quick recap – At the end of Episode 1, Eric Raymond sent a henchman to go and put the frighteners on Jerrica, which startles Kimber into dropping an oil lamp, and Starlight House is burnt to the ground.

But wait! Also last episode, there was the convenient mention of a contest to see which band could win a studio contract and a mansion, and Jerrica announces that there’s a house “just waiting for us”. Uhh, isn’t she a little over confident, I mean, how have the group managed to find time to come up with songs, and to practice playing together? Do you really just launch into it like that?

So anyway, they decide to go to the movie producers house an just put on a concert on his front lawn, at what seems to be about 8am in the morning. Yes, solid plan.

the misfits jem and the holograms episode 2Pizzazz and the Misfits come over to ogle the damage to the house – wow, real nice – and also to have some fun tailgating the Holograms in their van. It’s often fun to watch Pizzazz being an unrepentant bitch. When Stormer announces “they’ve seen us!” Pizzaz is all like, “Good, I could use some action”. Haha!

Luckily though, Jerrica has her new secret weapon – Synergy – who can throw the Misfits off their trail. Synergy disguises them as a big trash bin, but the Misfits spot Rio and start following him instead. They follow him to Mr Sands house where Jem and the Holograms launch into “Like a Dream”. Not one of my favourite songs, but it’s ok.

Afterwards they ask Mr Sands if they can use the mansion until the contest has been decided, and he takes pity on them. But the Misfits are just itching for a punch up. Pizzazz pushes Mr Sands into the pool, Roxy hops onto a bulldozer that just happens to be lying around, and then loses control of it, sending it heading straight for Jerrica. Rio swoops in and saves Jerrica.

Instead of cancelling the contest because the Misfits are clearly deranged, Mr Sands tells Jerrica that she and the girls can live there, but IF the Misfits win the competition, they’re out! At least Eric Raymond has the good sense to tell Pizzazz and the gang that they need to stop acting like complete dicks. But hold on, Eric then hires his goon to try and blow up the mansion. Talk about pots and kettles.

Mr Sands has some French or European countess or whatever also wander over to the house and invite the band to her yacht party. The Misfits try to get themselves invited but of course get snubbed.

Romance time! The girls meet Lin-Z Pierce, host of a popular music show who introduces the group to Anthony Julian, a video director. He’s black, and it really seems like he gets paired up with Shana, because of course, if there’s a single, hetero man and woman of the same race on a TV show, obviously they’ll get together.

jem and rio episode 2

Jerrica, what the hell are you doing?

Ok, now it starts getting weird. When Rio says he wishes Jerrica were there, Jerrica (as Jem) starts coming on to Rio, and asking if he likes her. In fact, as far as I know, it is never really explained why Jerrica has to keep it a secret that she’s Jem at all. Is Jerrica using her Jem identity to test if Rio is faithful or not? What’s going to happen if the public find out she’s Jem? Who gives a shit?

yacht party jem and the holograms episode 2

 

The Misfits just can’t deal with rejection, and so crash the party anyway, which gives them the perfect pretense to launch into the song ‘Makin’ Mischief’. They wander into the bridge of the yacht where Roxy goads Pizzazz into driving the boat. Naturally, Pizzazz can’t drive for shit, which means another cliffhanger ending as the yacht goes on a collision course for an oil tanker….

Read the next episode summary Kimber’s Rebellion.