Episode 14 – The Music Awards: Part 2


chrissy&dannyThis post has been a long time coming, because this episode was seriously boring. But anyway, to recap, Chrissy, Deirdre and Ba-nee had run away from Starlight foster home, and offered their help to the Misfits instead. They were at a Misfits concert and saw another boy climbing the scaffolding to get a better view, so they did the same thing, and Chrissy was about the fall off the scaffolding. Luckily, her bag catches on something and the boy who had also been climbing the scaffolding helps her down. The Starlight girls find out his name is Danny and he’s run away from home too.

mick&dannyMick, the guy who Danny stole his concert ticket from suddenly appears out of nowhere to grab Danny. He wants $50 for the ticket, but Danny doesn’t have any money. The Starlight girls offer their money but Danny tells them it’s his problem. Mick tells Danny he’ll have to earn back the money, and also threatens the girls, telling them that runaways get put in jail, and unless they do as he says he’ll turn them in.

He takes them back to an abandoned school bus (creepy) where his buddy Ramone is, and in conversation with Ramone, it turns out he’s even more of a dick – the concert tickets were stolen by him anyway and he just wants to use the kids to make more money. OK, so usually this show does a good job of presenting people from all different races, and does at least try to give them distinct personalities, but Mick and Ramone as Latino Scarface-wannabes is a little bit stereotype-y. Danny finds out more about the Starlight girls, and when he hears where they’ve run away from he tells them they must be three of the dumbest girls he’s ever met. Ooooh, burn on you girls!

mrsovieskyPizzazz found a neat way to drop Jerrica in shit last episode, reporting her to Child Protection Services and reporting her for mistreatment of the Starlight girls and mentioning that three girls had already run away. CPS worker Mr Soviesky visits Jerrica and the other Starlight girls do some seriously unconvincing lying to cover up the story. My Soviesky gives them until the day of the benefit to prove that the girls are around, or else he’ll recommend Starlight foster home be closed. Sure dude, that’s an effective way to investigate the disappearance and mistreatment of minors.

misfits_techratMeanwhile, the Misfits do some kind of publicity stunt which involves them hand gliding from the roof of their new record company and leaflet bombing people. Pizzazz gives Roxy shit for being afraid of heights. Techrat just throws it out there that Pizzazz has a laser gun that she’s ‘testing’ for him. Even Eric is like “da fuck, why’d you do that, you dumbass?!” Pizzazz uses it to draw a little pencil ‘stache on the poster of Jem on top of the Starlight Music skyscraper, and then damages the sign so much it falls off and through the window of Jerrica’s office. To scare Pizzazz away, Jerrica uses Synergy to projects a hologram of a massive eagle, and I mean massive, like the size of a helicopter. Pizzazz loses control of her hand glide and falls into a pond – ha, noice!

Back to the Starlight girls and Danny. Mick and Ramone tell Danny to go into a store and steal something for them. Chrissy doesn’t want Danny getting into trouble, so she goes to convince him to reconsider. The cops drive by and spot Mick and Ramone – they know already that Mick and Ramone use kids to steal stuff, and go to check out the situation. Mick, Ramone, Danny and the Starlight girls all make a run for it. They run down and alley that is blocked by wooden boxes and a fence, and climb up the boxes to get over.

cop&dannyChrissy, Deirdre and Ba-Nee all make it, but Mick (I don’t know which is which) and Danny are still trying to make it over. One of the cops grabs Danny’s foot which brings the whole pile of wooden boxes tumbling down, onto the cop. Danny is distraught, thinking he may have killed the cop, but he’s fine. The other cop has caught Ramone, and prevents Mick from escaping while his partner recovers, and all is well again in the Jem universe!

At the HotRock Music Awards, some TV presenter with a mic asks Pizzazz if they think they’re going to win and Pizzazz is all “uhh… duh doy biatch!” Even though JATH are out of the running for the Music Awards which means the Misfits are a shoo-in to win (like who else would win? There’s apparently no other bands except the Limp Lizards, and all we know of them is that they suck), Eric still wants JATH’s benefit show to be a disaster. So he gets Techrat to fix the jamming device to use during the benefit. This episode has been such a snooze fest so far, I really hope it works and Synergy tries to laser the whole audience to death. After The Misfits win the award, Pizzazz wants to go to the JATH benefit, so she can shove that award right in Jem’s face like a real winner would do!

danse&dannyDeirdre, Chrissy and Ba-Nee buy lunch for Danny and while they’re chatting about his problems, a waiter who overhears them gives them the number of a helpline to Haven House. After calling and getting the address, they head to Haven House and run into Danse, and she tells them about the benefit with JATH and offers to take them there. At the benefit, Deirdre, Chrissy and Ba-Nee are finally re-united with Jem and tell her they’re sorry, and blah blah whatever, boring.

JATH are about to perform when Techrat uses his jammer. Danny spots Techrat using something suspicious. As he tries to grab it from Techrat, it falls to the ground… and breaks again, meaning the show can go on.

When Pizzazz sees the adoration JATH are getting from the crowd she is dismayed and drops the award to the ground. Because awards are meaningless…. when they aren’t won by Jem and The Holograms, natch.

Up next: Jem and The Holograms love affair with fashion continues in The Rock Fashion Book.


  • You Oughta See The View From Here – The Misfits
  • Runnin’ Like The Wind – JATH
  • Friend Or Stranger – JATH

Episode 13 – The Music Awards: Part 1


Deidre, Chrissy and Ba-Nee

Another Jem show, another competition. Can’t we just stop with the competitions? I want more drama involving this Jem/Jerrica/Rio love triangle, or the dating life of Kimber, and seeing who else turns down Pizzazz or Roxy. There is a music awards show happening in a couple of weeks, the HotRock Music Awards, and JATH and The Misfits are in the category of Top New Rock Group. Super glad I had this show to educate me that music is always about winning prizes, modelling and charity concerts instead of being about about writing, recording, performing, bitching on your competition in the press and bringing out your own vodka drinks.


The Misfits – sulking and posing. also WTH is going on with Roxy’s outfit? It’s like a junkie vomited colour on that jacket.

Deirdre is one of the Starlight foster girls, who wants to be a hologram. She listens to Jem constantly and practices guitar and tries her best to get Jem or Jerrica or anyone to hear her musical talents. I’m not trying to parent shame here but JATH don’t appear to spend much time ever with their foster girls and they’re kind of left to their own devices. and when they do want a bit of time they’re told that more important things come first. This is supposed to be a haven for young girls who have already been through shit and now have to enter the hell of adolescence. Also, you can clearly hear that her voice that Deidre is voiced by the same actress as Pizzazz, just a little less angry sounding.

Speaking of Pizzazz, she, Eric and the rest of The Misfits are sulking over their loss of Starlight Music and a contract. Without a music company to promote them, Eric tells them they can forget about the award. So, as she did with the movie studio, Pizzazz goes to her dad to convince him to buy a record company. To get her to shut up and piss off, he agrees.

Eric and The Misfits set up Misfits Music right opposite Starlight Music, and to rub it in Jerrica’s face, they have a trashy animated sign plonked on the top of the building. Jerrica’s response is typically OTT: “Oh no, it’s my worst nightmare come true”. Oh, cry me a fucking river Jerrica.


Pizzazz on Techrat “Eric, where’d you find this weirdo?”

This episode would probably be a total snoozefest were it not for the fact that it introduces one of my favourite secondary characters. Eric is talking to a mysterious figure via walkie talkie who kind of sounds like Zipper. Except when he goes down to the car park he’s met by a suited figure with the fugliest haircut – Techrat. As well as being a genius, he also extremely socially awkward, not wanting to be touched at all. And his voice really just has to be heard to be believed. It’s just so super creepy. But at last an interesting side character! Rio sucks in comparison to this guy.

Techrat has built a jamming device, and Eric wants him to test it on Synergy. In Episode 5, Eric found out about Synergy, but at this point, Eric doesn’t know what Synergy is or does exactly, or even that she’s called Synergy, but he just knows that it’s somehow central to Jem and The Holograms. Well if there’s an opportunity to fuck shit up, the Misfits want to tag along too and I think they secretly like pushing Techrat. I mean, it is pretty entertaining when he freaks out.

episode13_3JATH need to rehearse as much as possible to get in with a chance of winning this award and Jem suggests that they could really use more of Synergy to create trippy, psychedelic amazing light shows to give them a competitive edge. If I were them, I’d reconsider using Synergy to do any more than she already does, I mean, she breaks almost every episode, at any kind of electrical interference. Also, once Techrat turns on the jammer, Synergy starts going berserk and tries to laser JATH to death. So yeah, I don’t know that I would unleash her talents on an audience, awesome as the idea of a trippy, psychedelic bloodbath might seem.

Pizzazz is bored and irritated that she doesn’t get to play with the toy as well and tries snatching it from Techrat, which causes it to drop to the ground and break. Techrat has a near nervous breakdown and Pizzazz pretty much voices what we’re all thinking: “Eric where’d you find this weirdo?”.


Wow, nice legwarmers Danse! So fetch!

After nearly getting cut in half by Synergy (now what a show THAT would make) JATH meet up with Video, who has found a dancer Giselle Dvorak, who has the mind-blowingly imaginative and original stage name of Danse. I’m guessing she spent somewhat less time on thinking up that than on her gnarly-looking hair extensions. In return for dancing for JATH, Danse asks JATH to help out with her benefit for her own foster home, Haven House for teenage runaways.

Deirdre has become sick of being ignored by Jem, Jerrica and the rest of the Holograms. She runs away, with Ba-Nee and Chrissy in tow and heads to The Misfits to see if she will be more appreciated there. Jesus, episode 13 and already we’re recycling storylines, we had this boring shit with Ashley! Pizzazz is more than happy to take advantage of the Starlight girls, and she’s particularly gleeful to report Jerrica to Child Protection Services that some of their girls have been mistreated and have run away.

JATH find out that the music awards and the benefit for Haven House are on the same date and have to break their commitment to Danse, but after realising that Deirdre was so upset that she ran away, they decide instead to shun the music awards instead and hope that by playing the benefit, Deirdre and the girls will see how much they mean to them. Apparently in Jem Universe, if your heart is in the right place, it doesn’t matter what you do, even if it sounds really warped!

episode13_6In a side plot, we see an unnamed boy being kicked out by his father. He ends up at the Misfits concert and steals a ticket, running past the queue to get in and starts climbing the scaffolding. Meanwhile Deirdre, Chrissy and Ba-Nee are taken along to the Misfits concert and they also start climbing up scaffolding to get a better view of the Misfits’ performance. Which seems like a good idea until Chrissy slips off…

To be continued in Episode 14 – The Music Awards: Part 2!


  • She Makes An Impression – JATH
  • When It’s Only Me And The Music – JATH
  • I Am A Giant – The Misfits

Episode 6 – Starbright Part 1: Falling Star


Last episode, Jem and the Holograms won the Battle of the Bands to keep the mansion as their foster home, and a movie contract. Now Mr Sands the movie producer is holding a huge, fancy party for them to celebrate. At least that’s what the recap at the beginning says, but I’m confused because actually it seems like Mr Sands is doing screw all, and Jerrica is throwing the party and because she doesn’t have the money to hire proper staff, the girls from Starlight Mansion are helping out with food and serving. On top of that, she has to keep changing from Jerrica into Jem all the time.

jerrica&rioRio takes Jerrica away from the party, telling her she needs to chillax. Again Jerrica tries to get Rio’s opinion on Jem and Rio says “She makes the air sizzle, like some bright and dazzling dream”. Dude, that’s your girlfriend you’re talking to! Then he says he likes Jerrica because she’s so dependable and comfortable to be with. In other words ‘you’re boring as fuck’. I can’t really sympathize that much with Jerrica though, she’s brought it on herself.

pizzazztantrumRoxy and Stormer find out that Pizzazz and her family are actually Richie Rich style loaded. Pizzazz is still SO sour about not winning, and Roxy says that if she were so flush with cash, she’d make her own movie. Pizzazz sucks up to her dad and tells him to buy the movie studio (and have Eric run it). Jem and the girls show up to find the movie studio has been sold, the script changed, Eric running the show and The Misfits now in the movie. Eric announces that this movie will make the Misfits the hottest stars in Hollywood, but he announces it with such over the top menace, it’s like a Bond villain times a million. In general Eric rages around the set as though he’s Azealia Banks on Twitter.

ClashA character called Vivian (or Video as she’s known most of the time, because people having normal names is just weird in Jem universe) is filming a documentary about Jem. But there’s also her troublemaking cousin called Clash who has these monkey cymbals attached to each wrist. She fawns all over The Misfits and is basically a dumb, irritating nuisance. The director tries to order Clash off set, but ends up walking off himself after an argument with Eric. At which point Eric says he’ll direct the movie himself. Having recently read the amazing ‘The Disaster Artist: My Life Inside The Room’ by Greg Sestero, I can see shades of Tommy Wiseau in Eric-as-director here.

nickmannJeff Wright, the stunt guy on the movie tries hitting on Kimber, but she’s more interested in Nick Mann, a massive walking penis who looks like a big, dumb, boring Ken doll. He absolutely loves himself and is all about Jem, pissing off both Kimber and Rio. Rio tries punching him after Jem and Nick film a kissing scene. Jesus, Jem sure know how to pick ’em!

Reporters cogaborsandsme to the set and are all up in Jem’s business, straight out asking her if she’s banging her leading man. Eric goes to talk to Kimber. Whenever he has a one-on-one conversation with her, he’s so slimy! He sees how much she likes Nick, and offers her her own scene with him.

Mr Sands approaches Pizzazz’s father to complain but Mr Gabor is more interested in keeping his daughter out of his hair no matter how much money it costs him. It always seems to be that bad behaviour from women can be explained by having a lack of a father figure



Jem reaches the end of her tether when the Holograms song is cut for a song by the Misfits. There’s a hilariously campy squabble between Pizzazz and Jem, in which Jem says “You’re a falling star!” Is that really supposed to be insulting? Playground comments are typically more vicious than that. Jem finally quits after this, which is probably a good decision seeing as though one of the reporters pointed out to Eric that he’s never directed a film.

Unfortunately for Jerrica though, one of the Starlight Mansion orphans has a degenerative eye condition that needs to be treated. Where oh where is she possibly going to get the cash from…?

Read the next episode summary Starbright Part 2: Colliding Stars!