Episode 15 – The Rock Fashion Book

jemandtheholograms_episode15_4Jem and The Holograms are approached by a publishing house who have the idea to create a Rock Fashion Book. I originally thought that maybe Chrissy Marx was inspired by 80’s music artists who also brought out books (i.e. Sex by Madonna; 21 Nights by Prince) until I saw that both of those had been published years after this episode was aired. I can’t think of any other books by artists in the 80’s. Possibly there were others, but maybe Marx was ahead of the curve. Anyway, JATH will be wearing Shana’s designs in the book. There’s a tired bit where Jerrica has to go and ‘find’ Jem to talk to the publisher, and one minute later Jem then has to ‘find’ Jerrica again.

'Clash' Montgomery - true 'Ride or Die' Bitch

Pizzazz with ‘Clash’ Montgomery – a true ‘Ride or Die’ Bitch

The Misfits get word of this book happening and they are not happy. They get their faithful homegirl Clash to go and spy on Jem, and if necessary, create havoc.

The fashion shoot is taking place at someplace like SeaWorld with dolphins and killer whales. Remember in the 80’s when some of us thought SeaWorld was way cool, and not really a torture facility for highly emotionally intelligent creatures? That thought made me die a little inside. There’s a particularly lame joke from Shana after Jem says “Steady holograms, remember these are Killer Whales” – “That’s ok we’re wearing ‘killer’ outfits!”….. Heh.

jemandthehologramsepisode15_2Things are getting a little bit tense within JATH, because a little bit of elbow shoving by Kimber to get to feed the dolphins ends with all four girls slipping off the platform into the water. Jem’s earrings can’t cope with water, and she is changed back into Jerrica. Readers, what would you think would be the most important concern at this particular junction in your life? Would it be: A) getting ripped to shreds by a killer whale; B) drowning to death or C) keeping up the illusion of Jem being a totally different person from Jerrica Benton? I’ll give you one guess as to which Jerrica chooses.

Rio and the photographer go in to to rescue Aja, Shana and Kimber but can’t find Jem, because she’s trying to hide from Rio, and the killer whale. The dolphins are let out to find Jem, and they scoop Jerrica up at the last second and bring her to the surface… just in time for Synergy to transform her back into Jem. Everytime Jem has a near-death experience, she drapes herself all over Rio, trying to get herself some. What is it about near-death experiences that makes people in pop-culture so thirsty?

Work it, gurls.

Work it, gurls.

The Misfits meanwhile, are trying to get their own fashion book produced. Except Pizzazz is a biatch who can’t take direction, so she fires the photographer. Afterwards she gets Roxy and Stormer to take photos even though they can probably only just find the big button on the camera. No publishing houses want to take their amateur stuff so it’s on to plan B – getting Clash to wreck the Jem photo shoot.

JATH go to shoot pictures on top of some scaffolding construction in front of the Washington Monument. Clash is lurking around and a security guard in his golf buggy spots her. In his rush to chase her down, he somehow manages to flip the cart over and bang into the scaffolding, which collapses and almost crushes the photographer. After this near disaster, the girls are all suspicious, like “hmmm that’s strange, it’s almost like The Misfits could be behind this.” Huh, ya think Jem? Although to be fair, the first accident had nothing to do with the Misfits and was instead caused by Kimber being a pushy brat.

Bat attack!

Bat attack!

The next shoot is in the Grand Canyons, with Jem and the girls being shot (artistically speaking) from a helicopter. Pizzazz, Roxy and Stormer also make their way there, and position themselves on a ledge under where Jem and the Holograms are shooting. They notice that there appears to be a hollow cave/secret passageway that leads up to where JATH are, and this cave is filled with bats. Pizzazz, Roxy and Stormer disturb the bats and shoo them towards Jem and the Holograms.

Jem and the girls freak the fuck out over this bat situation and start backing towards the edge of the cliff. I know not everyone considers bats cute, but in a game of ‘Which Would You Rather?’, bats beat falling over the edge of a cliff, personally speaking. Rio and the photographers are up above in a helicopter and rescue everyone in time before the cliff collapses.

Under the Misfits control, the new and improved production values of the Jem Fashion Book.

Under the Misfits control, the new and improved production values of the Jem Fashion Book.

After that goes wrong, Pizzazz goes to her father to demand he buy the rights to the Jem and the Hologram fashion book. This way, Pizzazz is able to bark orders at Jem, make sure the pictures are awful, be an ass to everyone, etc. and Jem just has to go along with it because she’s under contract. it occurs to me that Jerrica really is a shitty negotiator. This has happened once before in the Jem Movie episode. You’d think she’d add a clause in that says Jem can get out of it if the rights are transferred to someone else. Didn’t her dad (or that movie experience) teach her anything?

While they are moping about their bad luck, the photographer comes over and he’s in a pretty happy mood about some of the film taken from the Grand Canyon, which clearly shows The Misfits there. Rio, Jem and the Holograms help the photographer to develop the pictures and give them to Pizzazz to take back to her father. The Misfits then realise that they’re going to have to own up to the fact that they attempted to sabotage the photo shoots. Pizzazz tries to plead her way out of it, but her dad is pretty pissed that he’s going to lose money again (just like on the Jem movie).

The original publisher buys back the rights at a reduced price, Jem and The Holograms fashion book is a success, no one learns any lessons to proceed into the future with at all, and Jem continues!

Songs

  • Come On In The Water’s Fine – Jem and The Holograms
  • We’re Off And Running – The Misfits
  • We Can Change It – Jem and The Holograms