Episode 11 – Last Resorts

episode11I was really excited by this title. It seemed like there would finally be some showdown with Rio/Jem/Jerrica or some other sort of high emotion episode, but as soon as I saw the opening shot I knew I was mistaken. It’s set at a ski resort, geddit? What a letdown – and it’s only the first few seconds.

Mr Franklin, the owner of the resort is in mortgage debt to his bank. He’ll lose his lodge and his mountain. Business has been bad since a new resort has opened below his, and there have been some suspicious breakdowns of Mr Franklin’s equipment.

episode11_3JATH run into The Misfits and Clash out on the slopes and engage in a ski/snowmobile chase. Jem corners Pizzazz but then she does nothing except let Pizzazz and then the rest of the Misfits pelt her with snowballs.

A handsome Nordic ski guy, Svensen (or Swensen maybe, the pronunciation is all over the place) comes to save Jem. Unfortunately at this point, Rio also turns up and acts like a jealous dick. Jem says “I thought it was Jerrica you cared about”; Svensen says ” No Leo, you can’t have two girlfriends, and me with none!” So true, both you guys. Svensen swans off, skiing backwards like a smug show off.

episode11_2Jem offers to put on a free concert for the guests who are unhappy at the resort. That’s when they find out that Eric Raymond is the owner of the other resort (betcha didn’t see that coming!). The bank manager and Eric are together trying to plan the downfall of Mr Franklin’s resort. Once they learn that JATH are playing a concert there to bring in more customers, the bank manager puts a plan into action to sabotage it – by fiddling with the ski lift mechanisms.

The next day JATH are on the ski lift when a wheel breaks off and Jem is left hanging onto Shana’s ski pole. Rio goes to try to save Jem, by shimmying along the wire – really not the brightest idea, considering it’s barely holding anyway. Svensen skis off, leaving Rio fuming. Svensen returns with a helicopter, saving Jem, the other girls, and Rio. Rio doesn’t seem all that grateful about it though.

episode11_5

Yep, also don’t know what’s going on with Shana’s lack of a mouth here

JATH and Mr Franklin go to confront Eric. To his credit, even Eric actually seems to think that trying to kill JATH was a step too far. Eric suggests a ski race between JATH and The Misfits. Uhhh… what? Who would agree to such an idiotic proposal? Svensen says he’ll train the girls. Ahhhh now I know why they all want to do it – it’s so we the viewers can be treated to a cheesy 80’s montage workout video!!

Eric and The Misfits have people around the course to help The Misfits cheat their way to winning – Jem goes the wrong way and skis to a dead end, Shana ends up on a piece of ice heading to a waterfall, Kimber is trapped in a hole in the ground – only Aja escapes, though without her skis. Clash bashes her wrist cymbals, setting off an avalanche.

episode11_6When JATH fail to cross the finish line, Rio and Svensen go to investigate. They find Kimber, Aja and Shana but not Jem. Jem has found herself in a cave with a bear. Rio hears Jem screaming beneath the snow and begins to dig her out. Unfortunately though, Synergy isn’t able to help Jem because one earring falls on the ground and the bear is blocked Synergy’s transmission. Yes really. Oooh continuity blooper for nitpickers – after one of the earrings falls of Jem’s ear you clearly see her still wearing two.

Jem is changed back to Jerrica because of the faulty earring and Rio sees a glimpse of Jerrica and is understandably puzzled – like we are all the time by this plot device. Jerrica manages to crawl underneath the bears legs and grab her earring and finally Synergy is able to project a scary hologram onto Rio and scare the bear away.

episode11_7While they are in the cave, they notice that a wall is sparkling and find out the mountain is stuffed with silver. So not only does Mr Franklin get Eric Raymond’s resort, he’s also going to be a jazillionaire. As Kimber would put it – Outrageous!

 

 

 

Songs

  • You Gotta Be Fast – The Misfits
  • It’s Workin’ Out/It’s Doin’ Me In – Jem and The Holograms & The Misfits
  • Love Is Here – Jem and the Holograms

Episode 10 – Adventure in China

episode10_3OMFG YES!! After the last episode, full of Texan stereotypes, now we go to China! Who is up for a drinking game for every Chinese stereotype? I’ll simply mark them as (D) as we go along.

JATH are flying to China, having been personally invited to perform a concert on the Great Wall (D). The Misfits are also going there, as Eric has managed to get them a tour over there instead of a concert, which they’re pissed about. I thought bands made the bulk of their money from touring, shouldn’t that be a good thing? Ha and they’re also welcomed with a sign saying “Misfats” – oh hohoho, those Chinese and their mispronunciation problems (D)! As if many Westerners were able to speak more than three words of Mandarin or Cantonese, if that (FYI, I know “xie xie ni”, which I learnt from Rush Hour).

Jem runs into problems when she’s asked to take off her Synergy earrings to go through a metal detector at the airport and says she can’t. Everything is starting to get a bit tense until an official comes in and says she can go through with them. But Eric and the Misfits have noticed and start wondering what could be up with those earrings.

episode10Later on, JATH are relaxing in a mineral spa before their concert, when Jem comes in and takes them off to go bathing. She doesn’t transform into Jerrica when she takes them off, so why didn’t she want to at the airport? Oh well, whatever. Roxy comes along and steals them while Jem isn’t looking.

With Jem now ‘missing’, JATH are forced to step down from performing, so the Misfits offer to perform instead. There’s a bit where the official says “Well since Jem and the Holograms lack a sense of obligation…” Have to admit, I’m pretty surprised he didn’t use the word “honour” actually.

episode10_2As they watch The Misfits performing, JATH notice that they’re all wearing earrings that look like Jerrica’s Synergy earrings and figure out that one of them must be wearing the real pair. When JATH go to confront The Misfits, Pizzazz throws her earrings to Roxy and Roxy and Stormer jump in a rickshaw (D) and a rickshaw chase follows, complete with a Misfits music video featuring Chinese acrobats (D).

JATH chase the Misfits in a cable car, and Roxy (it’s always her) fiddles with the controls of the cable car to scare Jerrica and the girls. Somehow Jerrica has found the time to change outfits in all this – does she even need Synergy? By the way, I love Jerrica’s outfit here, so preppy and cute!

JATH chase The Misfits through a practising martial arts class (D), destroy an ancient religious statue in the process (luckily, no one is around to see it) and then onto a train. The Misfits throw each of the pairs of earrings through the windows of the train. Interestingly, The Misfits also have several costume changes during this chase.

episode10_5One pair of earrings land on some excavation site, and are taken to a museum, another changes hands several times and are picked up by a manufacturer, who copies the design and mass produces them (D), and one pair is picked up by a garbage collector who brings them home to his daughter.

Aja can apparently read and understand some Chinese. I wonder if she’s actually Asian, it’s never really clear. Anyway she picks up a magazine to practise and sees a picture of a pair. The girls head to the factory and get the original pair that was thrown through the window. But they’re copies and not actually Synergy.

episode10_7Next they decide to visit a museum and see another pair that was found on the excavation. Of all the bright ideas, they decide to just try and steal them out of the museum. OMG, so idiotic. But then what’s even more idiotic is when they go to see the curator, who examines them more closely and realizes, oh no, they’re just a cheap pair of earrings that are not actually from the Ming Dynasty (D). Quelle shocker!

They’re not the real earrings either and JATH realize they have to back out of the concert. Nearby the concert, there’s some fight going on with some kids. The little girl who received the earrings from her father is being bullied by a gang of other kids telling her to hand them over. Jerrica goes to talk to her and the girl, Lin, shows her her earrings, which she says are ‘good luck’ charms. Jerrica tells her that Jem has had some bad luck, and Lin gives her her good luck charms.

episode10_8Jerrica is just about the call off the concert, when Synergy makes contact, and transforms Jerrica into Jem, and JATH play the concerts and stick it to the Misfits.

Thoughts overall on this episode are, although there were quite a lot of stereotypes packed in, I suppose it could have been a hell of a lot worse, i.e. everyone wearing those cone-shaped hats, everyone knows martial arts, mystical happenings, etc.

Plus, I look forward to having a similar drinking game when JATH visit another country!

Songs in Episode 10:

  • You Can’t Catch Me – The Misfits
  • Something Is Missing In My Life – Jem and The Holograms
  • Love Unites Us – Jem and The Holograms

Read the next episode summary Last Resorts!

Episode 9 – The World Hunger Shindig

 

"Sean Harrison, the English teen idol - ain't he cute?"

“Sean Harrison, the English teen idol – ain’t he cute?” “Woo-ee”

Finally, an episode where I don’t have to re-cap from a cliffhanger ending! The writers must have been getting as bored with that as I have.

So this time we’re in Houston, Texas, where everyone has stereotypical, cowboy, Texas accents. Even the helicopter pilot who is flying JATH to Houston says ‘Wooo-ee’ (maybe that’s like saying “yee-haw” when you’re piloting a plane or helicopter instead of riding a horse?). Oh and the whoops and cheers of the Texan party goers have been ‘Texafied’ just in case you were in any doubt of where it’s set.

A ‘World Hunger Shindig’ to raise $8 million dollars in a week is being organized in the Astrodome stadium in Houston and this is the launch party thrown by Miss Sally on her ranch. Also at this thing is Sean Harrison, some kind of English teen idol singer. They have Texan accents down on this show (I mean, I think so anyway, but I’m neither from Texas nor have visited Texas) but UK accents really trip them up.

Last episode it seemed like Kimber had got together with Jeff, the stunt guy on the movie. But we all know from Jem/Jerrica/Rio that characters on this show are very fickle when it comes to relationships. So Kimber has forgotten all about Jeff already and is all about Sean.

episode9_misfits&eric_2The Misfits turn up uninvited with Eric, and offer to play the gig as well. They’re completely clueless that as it’s for charity, they should be playing for free. Stormer questions what he’s getting out of the deal and he’s really touchy about it, yelling: “NOTHING! Nothing but contacts and for publicity for you ingrates”. Eric’s chief hired thug Zipper is around too. But now instead of being a ginger, he’s dyed his hair black. As usual, Eric asks him to sabotage JATH. I don’t know why Zipper even has to ask at this point why he’s there.

Jerrica wants to spend time with Rio, but he’s clearly so over her and wants to hang out with Jem instead.

episode9_flashfloodThe girls all go out with Sean and C.B. Dodd, a Texan oil billionaire, riding horses and going swimming. Sean and C.B. Dodd have to leave to sort something out (this must have seemed soooo fancy in the 80’s, cos the Texan billionaire has a huge mobile phone!) and leaves the girls alone. Zipper and his mate ambush the girls and force them to go into the ravine. Jerrica is able to get Synergy to help them out of their fix, by projecting storm clouds and a flash flood. Excellent! At last there’s a moment where Rio or some other dude doesn’t come in to rescue them.

After they’ve escaped from Zipper the girls go on a hayride where Kimber is waiting for Sean to show up. Sean is with The Misfits and they take him to a bar where they say Kimber is waiting for him. It seems that Pizzazz and him had some kind of fling about a year ago, but he’s now a changed man, and has a new mellower personality that Pizzazz finds “sickening”. They leave the bar and as Pizzazz is laying into Sean about his attitude, she almost crashes into the hayride with Jerrica and the girls.

Once they realise there are no fatalities, The Misfits see the funnier side of the near crash. Kimber is devastated that Sean could be hanging out with anyone other than her – even though she’s got her own boyfriend anyway.

episode9_zipper_counterfeitticketsOn the day of the concert all sorts of things are happening: Zipper sells counterfeit tickets so Eric can pocket the cash; Sean explains to Kimber that he was tricked by Pizzazz; and Jem, Ajah and Shana are shown to their ‘dressing room’ which is instead a prison cell (complete with sliding eye window for the jailer to see if the girls are still in the room).

They use Synergy to make it appear as if they’re still there and sneak through the air con vents. While they do that, they hear Eric talking with Zipper, and see Eric place the money that he’s made from counterfeit tickets in the air con vent. Eric leaves the room, and Zipper sneaks back in, intent on stealing the money from the air con vent. Synergy projects a cobra sitting on top of the briefcase to scare him away and the girls get out.

episode9_concertstageJATH take the money, and are chased by Zipper to a ledge high above the concert stage just as they’re due to be on stage anyway – they abseil down using a net full of balloons just in time to prevent the nasty Misfits from getting on the stage.

Seriously, after the snooze-fest of endless cliff-hangars, I think this was the best Jem episode I’ve reviewed so far. Check out the next episode coming up, Adventure in China!

Songs in Episode 9:

  • We can make a difference – JATH
  • Gimme, Gimme, Gimme – The Misfits
  • Share a little bit of yourself – JATH